It Is Okay To Say No Sometimes

by Pam on September 21, 2011

Some parents feel like they must give their children whatever they want, despite the cost.  They feel that if they say “no” to their kids, their children will feel unloved or neglected.  This is simply not the case.  Kids just want to be loved.  They don’t need all the fancy gizmos and gadgets.  They might think they do sometimes, but deep down they just want their parents to spend quality time with them and they want to feel accepted by them.

Even if you’re in a financial position to be able to satisfy your child’s every whim, don’t do it.  In order to educate your children about money it is important for them to learn from your example that they shouldn’t always get what they want.  You need to prepare them for the real world where everything won’t just be handed to them on a silver platter.

So, please say “no” even if you can afford it, when the request is something impractical or simply unnecessary.  There is certainly nothing wrong with saying “no” and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.  This also goes for other family members or friends who always ask you for things or money.  It is good to be generous but you need to draw the line.  You do not want to be taken advantage and you certainly do want to give into manipulation.

Don’t be afraid to cut the apron strings as well.  If you have an adult child who continuously relies on your to pay their bills, etc.  it is time to put an end to it.  You are actually not helping them by giving them money, because they will never learn to be independent if you always give in.  They need to learn to stand on their own two feet and provide for themselves by acting responsibly.  Now, of course there are always exceptions but use good judgment in knowing when help is really needed and when they simply are too irresponsible to take care of themselves.

This post may sound really harsh, but I really feel strongly that too many people rely on their parents, siblings, or friends for way too long.  Do not let yourself become a door mat.  Be generous but use discernment as to whom your generosity is directed towards.


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