Money is a part of life, but many people prefer to leave it out of their romantic relationships. As nice as this sounds, it may not be realistic. Couples inevitably join their finances in most cases, making it important to talk about money matters as time goes on.
Discussing financial issues with your spouse or significant other may feel uncomfortable. If you’re unsure where to begin, try starting with these five money questions.
What do your finances look like?
This question is one to ask early in your relationship, preferably before you start to combine accounts. It may not be romantic but talking about money with your significant other can help you identify red flags in the relationship. The earlier you both lay everything out on the table, the easier it may be to start addressing potential issues.
Surveys have shown that nearly 30% of New Zealanders have been hurt financially by a romantic partner. This may include behaviour such as hiding debts or spending, which could lead to nasty surprises down the road as couples start to join their finances. Debt or a lack of savings could affect your ability to purchase a home, start a family or retire comfortably. Having a frank discussion about your financial situation could help you and your partner identify trouble and how you can address it together.
What are our money goals?
Happy couples often talk about what their future might look like. This may include things like travel, getting married, buying a home or starting a family. Setting money goals together can help you and your partner get on the same page as you save for the future.
As we’ve already mentioned, the financial moves you make early in a relationship could shape your future plans. Shared money goals can help you decide how to manage your finances, whether you need to pay down debts, prioritize saving money or consider investing. They also help couples stay on track, giving them a goal to work towards and keeping them more accountable to each other.
Who will be the breadwinner?
Raising children can be expensive. If one of your shared goals is having kids, then you may need to discuss their impact on your finances. Deciding who might take time off work and for how long are considerations future parents often need to make.
Some couples need two incomes to pay the bills, meaning both parents will likely need return to the workforce at some point. However, if you’re lucky enough to only require one income, you may want to discuss which parent will work outside the home. Women are increasingly becoming their family’s primary breadwinners, but there is still societal pressure for men to fill this role. Couples may also want to discuss how emotions will factor into this financial decision.
Do we need life insurance?
Purchasing life insurance is a task many people would rather avoid. It can be difficult to think about what might happen to your loved ones if you were to pass away suddenly. However, couples may want to put their discomfort aside and consider how a policy might help them.
Couples may rely on each other for financial support. If one of you were no longer able to bring home a pay check, it might be extremely difficult for the other to pay the mortgage, cover household bills or provide for any children. Many policies also pay their benefit if the insured is diagnosed with a terminal illness, or offer optional protection for serious injury. Features such as these could provide added peace of mind to you and your family.
What are your final wishes?
Another tough topic to discuss is funeral arrangements. Most people would rather not think about their own funeral, let alone make plans for it. However, with a funeral in New Zealand costing anywhere from $4,000 to $15,000, it may be important for couples to discuss their final wishes with each other.
The death of a loved one is an emotional time, and families are asked to make many important decisions when planning the funeral. They may feel pressure to spend money on items, because they feel it’s what their loved one may have wanted. Talking your wishes over with your spouse could help them avoid some confusion when the time comes. You might also consider ways to help your loved ones pay for arrangements, such as purchasing a funeral insurance policy.
Love and money can mix
Talking about money with your romantic partner could help both people form a clearer picture of where the relationship is headed. Working through potential issues, setting shared goals and discussing how you’ll protect the future you’re building together may even bring you closer as a couple.
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